The Dark Thought EXERCISE...

Went to a place called the Upaya Institute (http://www.upaya.org/) and attended a sharing circle for those with life-threatening illnesses. In the sharing circle we do just as it says...share. It is an opportunity to share where we are on our life's journey and to think aloud and maybe learn from each other or feel comforted to know that we are not alone. That was the first part. The second part of this experience was a poem reading. Once the poem was read twice one particular line was read aloud and then the participants were to write whatever came to their mind...no elaborate writing style or penmanship needed. I had never heard of the poem before but I found it really clicked for me. So I wanted to share the poem and what I had written about it.


This being human
The Illuminated Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks
(New York: Broadway Books, 1997) p. 77.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and attend them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture, still,
treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Welcome difficulty.
Learn the alchemy True Human Beings know:
the moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door opens.

Welcome difficulty as a familiar
comrade. Joke with torment
brought by the Friend.

Sorrows are the rags of old clothes
and jackets that serve to cover,
and then are taken off.

That undressing, and the beautiful
naked body
underneath,
is the sweetness
that comes
after grief.

The line that was chosen to write about was, "The dark thought..." Here is my writing:

"The dark thought comes like a thief in the night, yet the sun is shining bright and the sky is a cloudless crystal blue. It hits me when I least expect it; when I think I am ordered and proper. It disturbs my peace, it pokes at my feelings of control.

It hurts me..to have to go there...to acknowledge that dark thought...to know the truth of that dark thought...to know the uncertainty of the dark thought.

I want to ignore it. I want to pretend all is well...and maybe I do for an hour or two but then I must seek solitude and acknowledge the dark thought.

I ruminate, I cry, I wonder why...and I get tired of that. There has to be more to this thought than darkness. Transforming myself...transforming my dark thought. It is not there to hurt me...I'm afraid and scared...that's what makes it so dark.

I feel the thought...let every nuance in my head related to this dark thought encompass me. I feel it to know it...to understand it. I want to remember, for someday I may be able to transform this dark experience into empathy or compassion...for others...for myself.

I don't want to succumb to the dark thought...I want to live it, experience it, grow from it...and in so doing become aware...or transformed...just somehow different...somehow better for this.
I don't want to lose the lesson. Life gives lessons in good and bad.

Seek to fully experience and welcome not only the good...but also the not-so-good.

Embrace what life gives me..."

Hugs,
Liz