2 Years!

It is hard to believe it has been 2 years since Jason's tragic accident. I never thought I could get to a moment where I did not break down into tears thinking about this day...where I did not feel like getting sick. Sometimes it just takes time...and some need more time than others.

I have found that with time the pain that seared at my heart has lessoned...that automatic "get sick" response has dissipated. I still miss him and love him dearly and think about the wonderful brother and friend he was to me...but in time I have learned to live without him here...to find happiness and love and joy and wonder and peace and sunshine again after November 19th, 2006, in a way I never thought possible. For me, there is no moving on...because, in a way, I don't think I will ever get over Jason's death...instead, with each day I have learned how to live with his absence.

I still have some random moments...I am not sure if others get thrown for a loop...but, it happened to me last Saturday. I saw an accident...snowy conditions, road closed, etc...and immediately Jason's accident came to mind and everything about that day...the pain, the loss, the sadness, the heartache, the unending yearning to see him I had that day. It caught me by surpirse. And I shed a few tears. I didn't understand why and thought I was crazy!! :o) I think, for me, grief is a process and it isn't linear...and I am not sure it ever really ends...the acuteness definitely lessons with time...and I have a love and zest for life again...but maybe there will always be a tug in my heart sometimes...who knows.

So, today, I celebrate the life of Jason. He was an amazing brother and friend to me.

Life is not the same but life can still be good and happy and joyous and full of wonder and love...the sun shines again.

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

Love and Hugs,
Liz

:)